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Joseph Luciani, the psychologist said, " I find the most people who come for therapy usually arrive with a guarded ambivalence about whether it's possible to change. For some, after years of struggle and frustration, therapy is often the last hope to learn life's secrete formula for happiness. And who is the keeper of this secret? The psychologist, of course. There's no doubt about it: a psychologist can inherit a lot of projected power. The psychologist become the healer, the teacher, the guru - and all before a single word is exchanged! Because of this projections, most people go through an initial infatuation period where just being in the psychologist's presence sends them off feelings "the best I've felt in years" and touting the amazing benefits of therapy. Then as the session progresses, things begin to slow down. Symptoms, initially eclipsed by euphoric belief that finally you're getting the help you need, begin to return, along with distressing realization that nothing has changed. Or worse, the fear that nothing will change! This can be a real letdown as the infatuated energy gets replaced by the mundane work of historical exploration, week after week. Its during this post-infatuation period that many begin to feel disillusioned, recognizing there's no abracadabra magic involved in change.
As therapy, progresses, most people reluctantly give up hope for an epiphany or secret insight, one that's supposed to set them free. Instead of waiting for that startling breakthrough or quick fix, they're left with the tedious work of figuring out why they do what they do. And by this time they're months into therapy and still acting like the same old wretch. What can they do? They've already invested all this time and money... may be a few more sessions? A few more months?
What's the verdict? When it comes to therapy, what's the consensus? It is just a palliative shoulder to lean on and nothing more, or is it a tool for legitimate personality change? The question needs to be asked: Does therapy work, does it hold the secret of change? The short answer is yes and no. But before making sense of this paradox, I first need to tell you what I learned from my one years of struggle and from my training analysis.
I took my personal analysis very seriously. After all, if I was going to dispense sage psychological advice, I couldn't feign being healthy - I had to become healthy. This I did manage to accomplish. I'm not bragging, I'm just letting you know from the outset that yes, change is, in fact, possible. I actually became a different person, with different thoughts and different behavior. "Different" may not be the correct word because I was still me. But my experience of life certainly was different. I no longer felt congested and bottled up with my habits over-thinking and worry. I began to relax and enjoy a spontaneity that had always eluded me. I was actually living my life for the first time rather than thinking about living my life. And the experiences have made all the difference.
Joseph Luciani, the psychologist said, " I find the most people who come for therapy usually arrive with a guarded ambivalence about whether it's possible to change. For some, after years of struggle and frustration, therapy is often the last hope to learn life's secrete formula for happiness. And who is the keeper of this secret? The psychologist, of course. There's no doubt about it: a psychologist can inherit a lot of projected power. The psychologist become the healer, the teacher, the guru - and all before a single word is exchanged! Because of this projections, most people go through an initial infatuation period where just being in the psychologist's presence sends them off feelings "the best I've felt in years" and touting the amazing benefits of therapy. Then as the session progresses, things begin to slow down. Symptoms, initially eclipsed by euphoric belief that finally you're getting the help you need, begin to return, along with distressing realization that nothing has changed. Or worse, the fear that nothing will change! This can be a real letdown as the infatuated energy gets replaced by the mundane work of historical exploration, week after week. Its during this post-infatuation period that many begin to feel disillusioned, recognizing there's no abracadabra magic involved in change.
As therapy, progresses, most people reluctantly give up hope for an epiphany or secret insight, one that's supposed to set them free. Instead of waiting for that startling breakthrough or quick fix, they're left with the tedious work of figuring out why they do what they do. And by this time they're months into therapy and still acting like the same old wretch. What can they do? They've already invested all this time and money... may be a few more sessions? A few more months?
What's the verdict? When it comes to therapy, what's the consensus? It is just a palliative shoulder to lean on and nothing more, or is it a tool for legitimate personality change? The question needs to be asked: Does therapy work, does it hold the secret of change? The short answer is yes and no. But before making sense of this paradox, I first need to tell you what I learned from my one years of struggle and from my training analysis.
I took my personal analysis very seriously. After all, if I was going to dispense sage psychological advice, I couldn't feign being healthy - I had to become healthy. This I did manage to accomplish. I'm not bragging, I'm just letting you know from the outset that yes, change is, in fact, possible. I actually became a different person, with different thoughts and different behavior. "Different" may not be the correct word because I was still me. But my experience of life certainly was different. I no longer felt congested and bottled up with my habits over-thinking and worry. I began to relax and enjoy a spontaneity that had always eluded me. I was actually living my life for the first time rather than thinking about living my life. And the experiences have made all the difference.
Answers:
- Ambivalence - Having two opposing feelings at the same time, or being uncertain about how you feel.
- Infatuation - Strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction; A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.
- Touting - To advertise, make known or praise something or someone repeatedly, especially as a way of encouraging their sale, popularity or development.
- Eclipsed - Surpassed.
- Euphoric - Extremely happy and excited.
- Distress - A feeling of extreme worry, sadness or pain.
- Mundane - Very ordinary and therefore not interesting.
- Disillusioned - Disappointed and unhappy because of discovering the truth about something or someone that you liked or respected.
- Epiphany - A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something; A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization.
- Startling - surprising and sometimes worrying; causing surprise or fear; striking; astonishing.
- Wretch - A person who experiences something unpleasant.
- Consensus - A generally accepted opinion or decision among a group of people.
- Palliative - Something that makes a problem seem less serious but does not solve the problem or make it disappear.
- Paradox - A situation or statement which seems impossible or is difficult to understand because it contains two opposite facts or characteristics.
- Feign - To give a false appearance.
- Brag - To speak too proudly about what you have done or what you own.
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